Current Location: The Sunken Place

  • Depression is hard. 

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It’s like an anchor that occasionally lets the chain have enough slack to give me a moment to grab fresh air and be a “normal”, happy f***ing version of yourself, but then it yanks me back down and keeps me under for an undetermined time period that I feel often times I have no control over. 

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In some ways, it’s like an alternate universe. Something modeled after my own life?

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Except that it’s negatively exaggerated, keeping me trapped in my thoughts born out of falsehoods and the opposite of rose colored glasses. Self destruction over and over again.

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Even as I come out of it, it feels heavy.

My chest hurts. Literally.

My heart aches.

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‘To be constantly on an emotional roller coaster is hard and it makes me hate myself more after the fact. I often feel alienated from the universe to the point where I don’t even know what to think. This is where self hate is nourished.

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Am I being weak if I admit I have an issue that is slowly taking over mywhole life?

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Does it matter?

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Thoughts I had before I opened up and sought help

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Ashley OchiaghaComment